caitlin shows you the rules for speaking about israel's wars;

Israel killed some 500 people in a massive new onslaught in Lebanon on Monday which saw the IDF launch more than a thousand airstrikes. 

The US is once again sending additional troops to the middle east as things escalate, on the orders of god knows who because the president’s brain has completely stopped functioning.

It’s been a few minutes since Israel last began a new project of mass military violence, so perhaps it’s time for a refresher on the official rules on how we’re meant think and talk about such matters.

Rule 1: Recorded history began on October 7 2023. Maybe some things happened before that date, but nobody can remember.

Rule 2: Anything bad that Israel does is justified by Rule 1. This is true even if it does things that would be considered completely unjustifiable if it were done by a nation like Russia or Iran.

Rule 3: Israel has a right to defend itself, but nobody else does.

Rule 4: Israel never bombs civilians, it bombs terrorists. If shocking numbers of civilians die it’s because they were actually terrorists, or because terrorists killed them, or because a terrorist stood too close to them. If none of those reasons apply then it’s for some other mysterious reason we are still waiting for the IDF to investigate.

Rule 5: Criticizing anything Israel does means you hate Jewish people. There is no other reason anyone could possibly oppose military explosives being dropped on areas packed full of children besides a seething, obsessive hatred for a small Abrahamic faith..........more.........